Gift of 2015

I have been away for a month, it seems like its been a decade since I place my fingers on keyboard, typing the things I wanted to write-- thoughts. Once again, we have approach towards the end of a year. 2015 has taught me a lot. This year, instead of summing up what I have did, I prefer writing what this year has given me.

Again with the ups and downs talk. Yes, undeniable, most of us have gone through happy and sad times throughout the entire year. I have undergone mostly downs which were started as ups. Its like having nothing from the start, and then you received a gift, finally having something in possession. And then, split second, the giver takes it away. I was happy, cheerful person from the start. Until I left where I thought I belong, straying, again. That's when I had realized people can be a little too forgetful and mindless sometimes. I too, am that someone.

Then I met people, and even discover a new world. I guess that's what they mean with the quote:"When you give away something, you gain something." I thought I was hopeless, unimportant, useless, conquered by pessimistic thoughts, swallowed by depression. However, someone's there for me. That's when I finally talked, full story, no vague means, no half cut or section parted stories. That's when my feelings erupted. For so long I have equipped for the sake of the people I love, the people who disregard me and for fellow strangers, just not to become a pessimist, a burden.

I am starting to pick myself up again after the incident, when writing this, I'm not ready yet, my heart is still heavy, to be honest, but I am willing to try. However, I have transformed myself into a different person, with different thoughts. Maybe I am still the same, just that my inner self has become someone else, not a different identity, but thoughts which distinct with the former ones. This is what growing up feels like. You don't feel it instantly, but after the changes. Now, I realized.

2015 has taught me a lot, as I have mentioned:
  1. To do what's really best for yourself (sorry If I can't define that, you'll understand, I am sure of that); 
  2. Not to feel sorry when you already tried your best at something (people and matter); 
  3. To speak not what you intended to but something constructive, something meaningful; 
  4. To not hide your feelings (no matter to a crush or an apology); 
  5. To build up yourself after falling, regain hope and happiness (unfortunately, not everyone is always there for you, same goes to me, so bulk up yourself partner, you got a long way to run); 
  6. To be initiative (no matter solving problems or asking people for gathering, just ask!); 
  7. Most importantly, forgiveness (Forgive those who hurt you, and move on).

What 2015 has given y'all? Tell me cause I'm all "eyes" (Get it? Ears> eyes? Cause I'm reading it)
See you in 2016 loves .
Another year of writing, I feel so proud of this platform :-).



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