I am trying to be myself, again.

As much as I love to be the wackier version of myself, the society disallows me to do so.

First of all, my appearance does not fit into the "beautiful girls" category, with beautiful faces, toned body and thigh gap.
Second of all, a girl should be a lady. No vulgarities, no impolite gestures or postures.

These of what the society wants me to do. And I really can't disagree how I wish to become someone who has it all, the looks and the brains. However, I am still me, this... average... girl.

So, I took one step at a time to become what I wanted to be-- I wanted to be comfortable. Somehow, I realized that I am uncomfortable with my own body, so I train it. But the posture or gesture or the face thing, I don't really care. Lol.

As for my personality, I started to embrace my inner dork. I break the society rules. I create puns on my social media, I put wacky photos on Twitter/Snapchat. Boom.

I remembered when I have attended a forum in this April, talking to one of my society members whom I am always quiet when we meet in uni. We were talking like serious topics, but latter we jump right into funnier, less stressful ones. I started to free my dorkiness infront of her which I am embarrassed.

However, what changed me was what she said. She said:"Hey, why didn't I see this side of you at uni?" I was like:"Its lame... Bet you don't wanna do so." She said:"You should express more you know." I was stunned.

Anyhow, this is me. I used to mind what other's say about me, still, yeah. However, I am trying to unleash the wacky side of mine. I am trying not to care a lot. I am trying to be myself, again, even I am in this crazy society.

Not sure if you understand this. Embrace your inner weirdo, weirdo. 

Turtlenecksssssss...... Turtles! 🐢


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